The Secret Science To Spotting A Slut by Nova Giovanni


Hello, loyal reader. Your favorite writer, Nova Giovanni, is back once again with some ramen noodle soup for your soul. In this installment, I will be instructing you on the signs of a slut. Therefore, you will be empowered to deal with them based upon their capacities. Hence, a slut’s capacity is only sexual. Promoting them to any level above that is foolish and uncivilized.

 With that being said, here are five indicators of her slutism:
  1. If she kisses with her eyes open, she’s a slut! Don’t you see why she does that? She is keeping her peepers peeled apart to be sure not to miss the passing of another prospective sexual partner in her peripheral.
  2. If she keeps condoms in her purse – she’s a slut! Why would a woman NEED contraception within arms reach like lip gloss? Because she doesn’t PLAN her sexual encounters. When under the influence of Boone’s Farm wine and dirt weed – she has no self control.
  3. If her shoes are worn down – she’s a slut! Countless nights taking the walk of shame (a morning stroll home in the previous night’s clothes after a one night stand) has caused the coarse concrete sidewalk to sand down her 6 inch heel to a 3 inch heel.
  4. If her pubic hairs are shaved off during your first sexual encounter with her – she’s a slut! Who or what is she trimming her vaj for?! Would she shave her private parts unless she was ALREADY sexually active at that PRESENT time? Well, would you drive with your windshield wipers on if it wasn’t raining? Same answer applies!
  5. If her friends are sluts – she’s a slut! Even if she isn’t – she’s on her way! One bad apple spoils the bunch. Don’t let her tell you, “I have no control over what my friends do.” Because she DOES have control over who she makes friends WITH! A wise man once said, “Birds of a feather flock together. Eagles don’t hang with chickens because chickens don’t fly. Chickens eat their own shit & die.”
Now, brother – with this new information, the world is in the palm of your hands. Well, maybe not the world – but you have more power because of this knowledge. I’ve given it to you. What will you do with it? Remember, you can lead a horse to water – but you can’t stop these bald headed women from cutting their tails and wearing it on their heads. Nova Knows

I Love You… even you sluts,
Nova Giovanni

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